Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
