we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Randomize
