I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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