3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Randomize
