I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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