I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I still have a little drunk in my system
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize