I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
