Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
