I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
