I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Randomize
