whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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