Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize