That's intense
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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