I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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