Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
