Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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