What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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