I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
