i permit you to call me
her vagine was all disorganized.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
