it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
