yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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