i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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