it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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