ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
