So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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