you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
This toilet bowl is my home.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
