I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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