I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
