I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize