Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
