dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize