Soap is not a condiment
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
