Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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