areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Moan for me like Helen Keller
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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