...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
there is glitter all over my balls
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