Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
