He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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