Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
