I wish you could order shots online.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
