I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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