apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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