It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
