thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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