There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize