So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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