the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
