I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
