These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
