maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
