wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
