It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
