K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
