i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
