oh god the rape fog is back!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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